I just read an article somewhere where a mom of 2 young children was seeking ideas for how to cope with being overwhelmed with cooking, cleaning and nap time. She said she felt sad that she couldn’t just enjoy her kids with the domestic workload. One of the responses that came from another mother was “I just hire someone 5 hours a day to come and help me with all that stuff”. If only it were that easy, huh? I wish every mom could have that kind of help, but it is telling isn’t it about how much work there really is involved in keeping a home.
The truth is that many SAHM’s are living on a shoe string budget and because they are doing the job of at least 3 or 4 people: cooking every meal from scratch (or wishing we did!), cleaning, childcare and sometimes even running a home based business to boot. They find themselves not only in a state of financial strain, but also intense time poverty. Self care takes a backseat to all of it, because it isn’t urgent (I know this all too well from experience).
After a while it can seem like there is just no point to getting out of our pajamas, showering or bothering to put on clean clothes…sure the frumpy pants from yesterday will do for the third day in a row (I ain’t kidding).
It can become all too easy to not care about how we look (whose gonna see us anyway?) And why exude attractiveness when we don’t have the time or energy to be wooed into the bedroom?
Yet while I totally get why, I also think we become a little too complacent about our self care and that by doing so, the challenge of motherhood in a society that isn’t supportive, becomes even more draining when we don’t claim any opportunities at all to refuel. It is a bad self perpetuating habit. The less self care we give ourselves, the less energy or motivation is available to us to foster the commitment we need to actually “do it”.
We’ve tried and failed before, so why should committing now make any difference? Living with young children presents so many challenges and interruptions in how we intend to spend our time that it is easy to give up just as soon as we get started.
The solution is probably simpler than we imagine if we just started with the basics. Maybe even just 1 new self care habit each month. Unless you are alone with a newborn that you can’t put down or a colicky baby, you really CAN shower or enjoy a refreshing aromatherapy sponge bath! If you have to, start with basic needs like brushing your teeth and working up from there!
Can you think of 12 acts of self care that you can begin to implement tomorrow or over time? They can be as simple as flossing your teeth. If it benefits you and you weren’t doing it before, but you are now, that is good enough.
While you might not be able to find time alone, make it to the gym, get a massage, hire a nanny, chef or housekeeper, there is some basic self care that you can do before the kids get up and after they go to bed!
And, yes I know that for many of you that your toddlers and young children will start getting up earlier once you start to and that you’ll want to throw up your hands and give up (I did)! BUT we can still do all this by setting the kids up with waking activities or just suck it up and let them join in (it is better to have “self cared” with a babe in arms than not at all!).
Ok, here is my list of 12 (not even close to mastered, but these are the essentials that I desire to embody every day). Please share yours in the comment section, we all could use a dose of inspiration and ideas when it comes to self care!
Morning:
1) Arise at 6am and brush teeth.
2) Drink a cup of herbal infusion, kefir water or simply water with a pinch or two of unrefined salt.
3) Shower and lather self with coconut oil.
4) Adorn self luxuriously.
5) Make and eat breakfast before coffee (even if that simply means a green smoothie, kefir milk or yogurt smoothie, a cup of broth or miso soup).
6) Light a beeswax candle or burn incense.
7) Make coffee and set intentions or goals for the day.
8) Do as much prep work for the day’s cooking all at once (and the dishes after) as a moving meditation.
Evening:
9) Do yoga, go for a walk, rebound or exchange body work with a family member.
10) Tidy up the house (like as in take the edge off, not clean to perfection).
11) Have a luxurious bath, floss and brush teeth and slather face with coconut oil.
12) Be in bed by 10pm and practice progressive relaxation before falling asleep.
Many years ago when when my son Isaiah was young, I remember spending many an afternoon at a friends home having play dates only to come back to my own abode just after 4 pm starving and frantic about what to make for dinner!
I also uneasily recall 4 pm to be the time that I used to refer to as the witching hour! If you are a momma you might recall the days (or be smack dab center in the middle of them right now!) when just as you start to make dinner the baby starts crying and needs to be held or your toddler starts clinging to your leg crying “uppy, uppy” at the moment it is imperative that you must use two hands!
Those were the days…..
In those days my circle of friends and I sat, nursed, talked and drank coffee while our toddlers played together (or tormented each other). Now while all of that is well and good and everything and certainly nice to do once in a while, the truth is that doing play dates like this just isn’t sustainable when we also want to peacefully put a meal of wholesome foods on the table later. Plus, have you ever noticed that your kids play better together when you are working on projects or puttering around the house, and less so when you are on the phone or giving a girlfriend your undivided attention?
Could there be another way?
I remember a friend saying how her Grandmother used to say “You girls just sit and talk when you get together and in my day women never did that. We worked as we talked.”
And the light bulb went on!
How much of our domestic drudgery stems from plain old lonely boredom?
Of course it sounds better to lounge at a friends over coffee, than stay home to make sure we get dinner on the table in a timely matter, being the social creatures we are! But whether we like it or not, the need to put dinner on the table, isn’t going to go away. What if we could both have our social time and get our work done?
Following suit to the wise words of the grandmothers, I now rarely go to a friends home for a lounging play date. Instead we having cooking dates, ferment dates or knitting dates! In fact, I find it quite pleasurable to talk over dishes, folding laundry or making a meal.
As one example, a dear friend and I spend cooking dates together that look like this:
The person who hosts puts on a crockpot meal large enough for two families at breakfast.
The person hosting decides what we are going to make in bulk and has everything on hand and ready to go
The guest brings over lunch (near prepared and ready to go).
In between breakfast and lunch we make at least 3 snack foods that we can split in half and take home for the week!
Each week we alternate being the guest and the host!
With careful planning these days start at 9:30am and I am home by 1pm with finished food projects in tow. All of us are well fed during our time together and I have 2 quart jars full of dinner nearly ready to go!
Interestingly enough, a morning like that affords me a lounging afternoon or nice work block if I want one! You might also start to notice that the kids play together much more amicably as well!
What do you do on playdates? Would you consider committing to a day like this each week with a friend?
I don’t like leftovers unless they are transformed into something totally different! Here is a great way to transform a hearty stew or legume based soup! Kid tested and approved!
Leftover Latkes
(makes 16 medium sized latkes)
What you will need:
1 1/2 cups leftovers (hearty soup or stew)
5-6 eggs
1 cup almond flour
splash of Tamari (wheat free ) or just salt it to taste
How to do it:
Step 1: Blend all ingredients in a blender (start with 5 eggs and only add the 6th if the batter is too thick to be pourable|)! You will have to ad lib here a bit because each recipe will be different depending on the leftovers that you start with.
Step 2: Put ample butter in a frying pan and heat to med heat (after the first latke or so, you’ll want to turn it down a notch).
Step 3: Pour batter in centre of the pan, wait for it to bubble up and then flip.
Step 4: Put a new pat of butter in the pan between each latke.
Serve warm with yogurt or sour cream and cultured veggies on the side!
Extend this recipe yet again by topping with pizza fixing’s for a delicious grain free personal size pizza (the following photo is these same Leftover Latkes 5 days later delicious as ever)!
If you are on a grain free diet you might be feeling a tad bit deprived throughout the holiday season. This egg free, grain free marzipan is sure to please (the kids love it)! These are a moist, chewy and nutritious alternative!
What you will need:
1 cup butter
half a cup of honey
2 cups almond meal flour
half cup coconut flour
1 tsp almond extract
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
How to do it:
Step 1: Melt the butter and honey together on the stove on medium to medium low.
Step 2: Stir in the extract of your choice.
Step 3: Mix in the almond flour with a fork until mixed to a smooth consistency.
Step 4: Stir in a half a cup of coconut flour. If it seems too moist, let stand for about 10 min or so until more liquid is absorbed by the coconut flour.
Step 5: Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper to prevent sticking or grease really well.
Step 6: Roll batter into small balls and place on cookie sheet.
Step 7: Press cookies down with a fork.
Step 8: Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 15 minutes (more or less depending on your oven and how big your cookies are).
Step 9: Let cookies cool on a cooling rack for at least 10 minutes (try to lift them any earlier and they will crumble, but once cooled down they stick together just fine).
These muffins are fantastic. They are fluffy and taste like a wheat or spelt muffin, not coconutty texture at all. They are super moist, nutrient dense calling for lots of butter, whipping cream and eggs (although they don’t taste “eggy”).
Coconut Muffins 2.0
(makes 9 large or 12 med muffins)
6 eggs (less 1 if your eggs are large)
1/3 cup butter
1 cup whole milk, whipping cream or creme fraiche
1/4 cup honey (optional)
1/2 tsp unrefined sea salt
1 tsp vanilla extract (optional)
1/2 cup coconut flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
Optional: Fruit
Blend in a blender until smooth. It will seem like the batter is too wet, but it isn’t. As you can see from the picture, the muffins will cave a bit in the middle, but I think it only adds to their charm!
Bake at 400 F for 23-25 min. Let cool for 10-20 before removing from muffin tray.
You kids will go ga ga over these delicious and nutrient dense candies that can double as a Vitamin C supplement! The gelatin will slow down the absorption of the natural sugar in the juice, while being a wonderful protein sparer and super good for digestion.
Natural gummies are the perfect treat for what ails the whole family, and wonderful addition to your child’s lunch box too!
Natural Gummy Candy
(makes 2 silicone ice cube trays worth of gummies)
What you will need:
4 Tbsp unflavoured gelatin (or 4, 1 ounce packets) from animals raised on pasture such as Great Lakes Gelatin
1 cup unsweetened, unflavoured juice
How to do it:
Step 1:Dissolve gelatin in the juice and let stand for 10 minutes.
Step 2: Stir on medium heat for 3-4 minutes until dissolved.
Step 3: While it is still liquid, pour into silicone mould (ice cube tray or candy mould). Let stand for 3-5 minutes.
Step 4: Put in the freezer for 10-15 minutes.
In the mood for a sweet treat, but not in the mood for a sugar crash? Try this probiotic rich and creamy pudding. The protein and cinnamon will keep your blood sugar smooth and steady, while the delicious creamy fat will give you sustainable energy and full on satiation.
You might be wondering, can I feed my children Kombucha?
There are varying opinions about this, but generally be cautious in children 4 & under. This not to dissuade you from sharing Kombucha with your children, but to ask you to exercise care in how much and how often you give it to them.
Reasons that it might be wise to impose some limitations for younger children, pregnant and breastfeeding women:
1) Contains caffeine (however fermentation reduces the caffeine context to 1/3rd or ½ the original amount).
2) The average and natural weaning time for babies varies from 2-4 yrs or as high as 7 years in traditional societies. It is the way of nature to give babies probiotic bacteria through breast milk. It would be better to give young children milk or water kefir on a regular basis which is nutritional, not just probiotic.
3) Small amounts of pathogenic bacteria or wild yeasts that would not pose a threat to healthy adults, may compromise children whose young immune systems are still developing. Nor do we want the child to rely on the Kombucha cultures for protection, we want them to build their own immunity. However, Kombucha could be used medicinally if your child is having trouble overcoming something on his/her own.
4) Kombucha tea may cause calcium depletion because it binds to minerals making it an alkaline drink, nevertheless more minerals should be consumed to compensate (another reason why Kefir milk is better for children as it is naturally mineral rich).
5) Kombucha is a cleansing and stagnancy breaking meaning that it breaks down and eliminates toxicity. In times like pregnancy, breastfeeding and growth (babies and children are always growing) the intent is to build, not cleanse or break down. However, you can use it at times when your children have been exposed to toxicity, sugar and junk food to swiftly detoxify these elements from your child’s body after birthday parties or holiday celebrations.
6) According to Ed Kasper LAc. Acupuncturist, Herbalist, & Homeotoxicologist (Kombucha Brewer since 1995) “Kombucha is Qi. Energy and Yang. It is Yang within Yang. A catalyst. Kombucha makes things happen. For most people, who are Yang Deficient and clogged with toxins, Kombucha is perfect. For children who are Yang Excess and predominately Yin Deficient, Kombucha poses a risk of upsetting a delicate newly developing balance. Kombucha will tend to make a child more hyper-active. The child will get more colds and flu (average child ha 4-10 colds per year) with higher fevers and will tend towards more skin disorders and asthma. (TCM Lung disorder). Many people believe Kombucha is an immune-booster, and where it does benefit a otherwise healthy adult, in a child with a Wind Heat (TCM condition, Cold with chills, fever and sore throat) Kombucha will exhaust the Qi (energy of the body) resulting in higher fevers, fevers that linger, and fevers that come and go. Kombucha is a diuretic (makes one pee) which furthers depletes the Yin and dehydrates the body. The child’s dehydration (Yin Deficient in TCM) is accepted by western medicine as one of the leading causes of childhood diseases.”
7) Some children have a hard time drinking adequate water as it is. Given that Kombucha has a dehydrating tendency, it must be used sparingly with children, especially when they do not drink enough water.
Kombucha is not just a probiotic drink, it is medicinal, so use it wisely!
Want to learn more about Kombucha and sharing the joy (and health benefits) of other naturally bubbly beverages with your kids? Click here.
This recipe is by far my absolute favourite way to eat raw cultured veggies! It is simple and delicious, but the best part is that it is a fast food and uses only 4 ingredients!
Avo- Kraut is my `go to’ recipe when I need something satiating, healthy and fast!
It works great as a snack, side dish or meal in itself!
