I just read an article somewhere where a mom of 2 young children was seeking ideas for how to cope with being overwhelmed with cooking, cleaning and nap time. She said she felt sad that she couldn’t just enjoy her kids with the domestic workload. One of the responses that came from another mother was “I just hire someone 5 hours a day to come and help me with all that stuff”. If only it were that easy, huh? I wish every mom could have that kind of help, but it is telling isn’t it about how much work there really is involved in keeping a home.
The truth is that many SAHM’s are living on a shoe string budget and because they are doing the job of at least 3 or 4 people: cooking every meal from scratch (or wishing we did!), cleaning, childcare and sometimes even running a home based business to boot. They find themselves not only in a state of financial strain, but also intense time poverty. Self care takes a backseat to all of it, because it isn’t urgent (I know this all too well from experience).
After a while it can seem like there is just no point to getting out of our pajamas, showering or bothering to put on clean clothes…sure the frumpy pants from yesterday will do for the third day in a row (I ain’t kidding).
It can become all too easy to not care about how we look (whose gonna see us anyway?) And why exude attractiveness when we don’t have the time or energy to be wooed into the bedroom?
Yet while I totally get why, I also think we become a little too complacent about our self care and that by doing so, the challenge of motherhood in a society that isn’t supportive, becomes even more draining when we don’t claim any opportunities at all to refuel. It is a bad self perpetuating habit. The less self care we give ourselves, the less energy or motivation is available to us to foster the commitment we need to actually “do it”.
We’ve tried and failed before, so why should committing now make any difference? Living with young children presents so many challenges and interruptions in how we intend to spend our time that it is easy to give up just as soon as we get started.
The solution is probably simpler than we imagine if we just started with the basics. Maybe even just 1 new self care habit each month. Unless you are alone with a newborn that you can’t put down or a colicky baby, you really CAN shower or enjoy a refreshing aromatherapy sponge bath! If you have to, start with basic needs like brushing your teeth and working up from there!
Can you think of 12 acts of self care that you can begin to implement tomorrow or over time? They can be as simple as flossing your teeth. If it benefits you and you weren’t doing it before, but you are now, that is good enough.
While you might not be able to find time alone, make it to the gym, get a massage, hire a nanny, chef or housekeeper, there is some basic self care that you can do before the kids get up and after they go to bed!
And, yes I know that for many of you that your toddlers and young children will start getting up earlier once you start to and that you’ll want to throw up your hands and give up (I did)! BUT we can still do all this by setting the kids up with waking activities or just suck it up and let them join in (it is better to have “self cared” with a babe in arms than not at all!).
Ok, here is my list of 12 (not even close to mastered, but these are the essentials that I desire to embody every day). Please share yours in the comment section, we all could use a dose of inspiration and ideas when it comes to self care!
Morning:
1) Arise at 6am and brush teeth.
2) Drink a cup of herbal infusion, kefir water or simply water with a pinch or two of unrefined salt.
3) Shower and lather self with coconut oil.
4) Adorn self luxuriously.
5) Make and eat breakfast before coffee (even if that simply means a green smoothie, kefir milk or yogurt smoothie, a cup of broth or miso soup).
6) Light a beeswax candle or burn incense.
7) Make coffee and set intentions or goals for the day.
8) Do as much prep work for the day’s cooking all at once (and the dishes after) as a moving meditation.
Evening:
9) Do yoga, go for a walk, rebound or exchange body work with a family member.
10) Tidy up the house (like as in take the edge off, not clean to perfection).
11) Have a luxurious bath, floss and brush teeth and slather face with coconut oil.
12) Be in bed by 10pm and practice progressive relaxation before falling asleep.
Have you ever wondered why so many babies and children these days seem to suffer from a variety of types of digestive distress such as colic, rashes, diarrhea or constipation?
In order to shed some light on this phenomenon, we have to understand the importance of good digestion and “intestinal integrity” in the mother, father and baby.
Few people understand that it is crucial that mother`s and father`s attend to their inner ecosystem (the microbial balance in their bodies) as important preparation for conception and childbirth.
Most of us are aware that probiotics like those found in yogurt are “good for us“, but unfortunately many of us are not aware of their specific impact in terms of building a strong basis of heath, good digestion and optimal immunity for ourselves and our babies and children. Since we haven’t understood what the consequences are, or what is at stake, we often overlook the health of our gut when we are preparing our bodies to conceive or to give birth to a child.
Did you know that babies are born sterile and establish their inner ecosystem, only once they enter the world?
So then how does a baby acquire his /her unique microflora you might wonder? Many people are shocked to discover that babies are “cultured” by their mama’s vaginal microflora as they make their descent into this world!
So what this means is, if mama’s microflora is imbalanced (mother’s vaginal microflora is established by her gut microflora), then baby will begin life with compromised digestive and immune capacity. What is even less understood is that the state of the father’s inner ecosystem also contributes to baby’s health, since during the act of making love, the father is passing on his unique flora ratios and shaping the nature of the mother’s microflora as well!
If one or both parents have a history of digestive problems, allergies, PMS, mental health issues such as depression or anxiety or learning disorders such as dyslexia or ADD/ADHD, then baby starts life out with compromised microflora- making him or her more susceptible than others to digestive, immune and mental/emotional discomforts as they continue to grow and develop.
As a result, baby is at risk for developing colic and other digestive distresses that could have been prevented by the parents taking care to restore their inner ecosystem during the pre-conception and pregnancy period.
So what can parents and parents-to-be do? How do we restore our gut flora?
First we have to eliminate those things that kill our good microflora or feed pathogenic bacteria:
1) We must eliminate all refined and even natural sources of concentrated sugar and flour from our diets as these types of refined forms of sugar feed the pathogenic flora that create toxicity and inflammation in our gut.
2) We must upgrade the quality of the animal products that we consume to being antibiotic free, from compassionately raised and free range or grass fed animals.
3) We can drink, bathe and shower in water that has been filtered of chlorine (which is an antibiotic).
Next we have to make the following additions to our diet:
1) Cultured foods (add 24 hour brewed homemade yogurt, kefir milk, cultured vegetables, kefir water etc.)
2) Alkalize our blood with mineral rich foods such as cooked greens, seaweeds and bone broth.
3) Take at least 6 months of supplementation with a broad spectrum probiotic supplement containing 14 or more different strains of beneficial bacteria.
The aforementioned practises must be adopted by couples planning to conceive, and by pregnant and breastfeeding women for anyone seeking to prevent common childhood disorders such as asthma, eczema, colic and tummy aches while promoting optimal immune health in the developing baby and child.
For people who don’t have severe digestive problems or a long history of antibiotic use, the aforementioned recommendations will be adequate to restore the gut flora in most cases.
However, in more severe situations such as autism, IBS and other chronic or persistent cases of digestive distress and mental illness, the family must in addition adhere to a grain free diet for 6 months to 2 ½ years to restore the gut back to its optimal state of health.
For more information about how to get started on that path check out these resources..
