Is it ‘hate’ to talk about weight?
I recently shared a video about how I gained weight in what literally seemed like overnight. You can watch it here.
In response I received a couple of ‘I am above all this weight loss’ talk e-mails from my subscribers.
Ok, they didn’t exactly say that….but it was insinuated.
Here is an example of one of them… “I am struggling with this line of marketing. I’m really focused on losing hate, not weight and focused on non-weight health goals. I know that you’re probably appealing to more people because we live in a fatphobic society, but getting this in my inbox is off putting. I appreciate your work and have been a supporter in the past, but I’m gonna have to unsubscribe if this sorta thing shows up again.”
I titled the e-mail ‘How I woke up fat one day…..).
I am sure that a few more likely unsubscribed, just because I used the word ‘fat’ too and didn’t bother to take the time to tell me about it.
Honestly I appreciate the feedback.
In fact I was waiting for it.
I have some strong opinions on this topic that I know are polarizing – and I have known for some time that telling my truth about this topic would be a trigger.
It seems that people are in one of 4 camps (or a combination thereof) when it comes to talking about weight from what I believe to be false perspectives.
Camp 1: Super sensitive about the topic. Have chosen to accept and even embrace being overweight. They focus on acknowledging the beauty of their body at any size. Adamant that weight has nothing to do with health. Believe that people who care about their weight and the shape of their body are shallow and un-evolved.
Camp 2: On your high horse. Think fat people are lazy and have no self discipline. Think being thin and fit equate to health. Subscribe to the idea that calories and exercise are the key, and that fat people should just eat less and exercise more.
Camp 3: Obsessed with being thin. Think food is the devil. Imagine that if they ate healthy, it would be boring – yet eat nothing more than coffee, salad, carrots and celery sticks to stay thin. They might binge eat, diet, or possibly even starve themselves and purge. Never satisfied with their body or their looks. Image comes before health.
Camp 4: Secretly wish they were thinner, but nod in agreement with camp 1, lest they appear shallow. Don’t understand why they are overweight, despite eating healthy and exercising. Losing weight seems futile. Not willing to do what camp 2 & 3 are willing to do to look a certain way, yet harbour a repressed desire to be a certain weight.
As for me, I have lived in a combination of camp 3 and 4.
I was obsessed with my weight in high school.
But then I became an alternative hippy, health nut and discovered that the only reason I was so called fat, was because I was nutritionally deficient and not even eating real food.
I just naturally lost the weight as a result of focusing on health.
I thought that was enough…..and it can be. Unless you’re insulin resistant, hormonally challenged or pushing or past 40 (or all of the above).
I see beautiful overweight people every day – and feel that beauty is more about who you are and how you carry yourself.
But I am not going to sit here and pretend that I believe that being overweight is healthy.
No I won’t.
Just as much as I wouldn’t agree that being thin equates to health.
Yes, we must love ourselves at every weight and appreciate our body as it is, but we must also recognize that being overweight is not a sign of good health, but a symptom of imbalance.
If you don’t like it, it offends you or disempowers you in any way, then you might want to ‘unfollow’ me on Facebook or unsubscribe from my list because I will continue to talk about this.
I don’t believe that health related goals are in any way apart from weight loss ones.
And I am not going to pretend to agree that optimal health can include being overweight.
Optimal health and the absence of a bona fide diagnosed disease are not one and the same.
I don’t care if you think I am shallow and have sold out in some way by choosing to focus on helping people with their weight.
I tell my students this all the time, because they too, often feel that the subject of weight loss is a shallow goal in comparison to how far good nutrition can take you in terms of all areas of well being.
Personally, I don’t give a shit why someone wants to lose weight.
All I care is that they are motivated.
It is not about what I want. It is about what THEY want.
If having a certain weight is what inspires people to eat healthy, then so be it.
In fact, I welcome the diet obsessed people in camp 3.
20 + years ago, I was there. I get it.
And by the way, I think it is far from shallow to want to look a certain way.
That’s BS.
There is nothing shallow about wanting to be the best version of yourself in any area of your life.
I care about helping the people who are not suppressing their desire to lose weight, yet are being lied to through the marketing of fad diets that are not sustainable at best – and at worst harmful to their health.
In fact, recently someone messaged me that she lost over 60 lbs on a one of these fad diets that include processed foods (protein powders, bars and the like) and guess what she got along with it – a sludgy liver and pancreatitis.
Shallow for wanting to prevent people from having to go through unnecessary pain? I think not.
If you are really so amazingly evolved, wouldn’t you rather see these people in my world, healing themselves at the level of root cause – with someone who gets it, cares and doesn’t for a moment think that they are lazy or undisciplined – than in the hands of so called experts who starve and over exercise them, have them stay so desperate that they get their stomachs stapled, hurt their metabolisms from chronic dieting or simply quietly live in self loathing?
Sheesh. I would never reduce the topic of weight loss to being irrelevant or not worthy.
There is way too much at stake for people.
Not just their health, but the quality of their lives.
I am also interested in helping the people in camp 4.
That is where I was for the last 15 years.
Simply accepting being 20 lbs overweight for years as a necessary evil of having babies.
But it isn’t futile honey.
I know you ‘get it’ or sense on an intuitive level that the extra weight is your body ‘trying to tell you’ something.
Camp 1 people, I get it. I love seeing people not let their weight stop them from being, doing, having or giving back in the world in any way they feel inspired – that is commendable and I embrace people like that being in my world.
Camp 2 people however, you piss me off.
Just because eating less and exercising more works for you, doesn’t mean it works for everyone. You obviously know nothing about having a damaged metabolism.
It is not your ignorance that I don’t have the patience for – it is your judgment. The way you treat overweight people is despicable.
If you look down on overweight people, then I am sorry, we can’t be friends.
If you are in camp 1 or 2 and not interested in healing the underlying health issues that lead to weight gain, then you might as well move on, unsubscribe from my list or do whatever you need to do, to not hear all the stuff I am going to keep shouting from the rooftops about being fat.
By the way….in no way was I surprised that calling myself fat would offend some people.
Before I go on, something you have to know about me is that it is my nature to be irreverent. My close friends know that.
I really don’t care about being neutral, nice or politically correct on the internet.
Sure in person I would be much more tactful, but this isn’t a note to anyone in particular, so I am just going to tell it like I see it.
I care more about this message getting out there, than having you like me.
I didn’t say you are fat or anyone else is fat.
I said one day I woke up fat. Yes, me.
I didn’t say I was a bad person, lazy, lacking will power or a junk food addict….in fact, I didn’t even say that I was unhealthy or that I looked bad.
I just said that one day I woke up fat, that I felt shocked, confused and concerned, because I was.
I said that I was embarrassed as a nutritionist. Let’s face it, the public expects me to at least maintain a healthy weight if I am to be trusted to help them with their health.
There is some truth it it. Although being thin doesn’t equate to health either.
People who are healthy and balanced do not suddenly gain weight overnight.
What happened to me was a ‘symptom’.
My body was screaming for my attention, duh!
What happened to me was not something to just accept. And if it has happened to you, you shouldn’t accept it either!
I said it and I will say it again. Weight is not apart from other health goals!
You don’t lose weight to get healthy (this is a false paradigm).
You focus on uncovering the root cause of the symptom of weight gain and the weight releases on its own accord – without trying to force it off through calorie counting and exercise (another false paradigm).
I got fat because I was stressed to the max, not getting enough sleep, I have hereditary tendency (being of aboriginal decent), my biological father is insulin dependant and I’ve been hypoglycaemic for years (which I had minimized the importance of looking at seriously)!
Being fat woke me the fuck up to lingering health issues that I was ignoring!
If you too had a knee jerk reaction to my video about how I woke up fat one day, you likely didn’t take the time to listen to my story, hear my sincerity and just assumed I was being shallow and lowering myself to market a weight loss program.
That I take offence to.
First of all, it is offensive to have had my feelings and my experience dismissed.
Don’t you dare tell me how I feel is wrong or insignificant. How I feel is how I feel period.
Secondly, I wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning to market a program around something I wasn’t passionate about or had personal experience with.
End of story.
I can assure you this topic has become a passion of mine and you’ll be hearing more about it, so if talking about weight loss is beneath you, offensive or in general not interesting, now would definitely be a good time to unsubscribe from my list.
I write, teach, speak and create programs that are relevant to where I am at on my journey.
If you need me to be nice all the time, neutral or just talk about one subject, then you are in the wrong place.
I am passionate a lot of things: the art of food, the science of nutrition, the food traditions of our ancestors, supporting people to live their dreams, business success, consciously creating my reality, transformational coaching, birth including home births with midwives and yes – unassisted childbirth, moon cycles, seasonal rejuvenation and now, because my life experience has called me to it – weight loss.
This is the season I am in.
Take all of me or none of me.
Soooooo, is it hate to talk about weight?
The answer is no.
It is not hate to talk about weight.
I am going to keep talking about it because I care.
I care more about the people I am here to help, than avoiding the disapproval of people who just don’t get it.
And that my friends is anything but hate.
Want to learn more about sustainable weight loss?
If you are tired of dieting or feeling futile about your weight, click here to get access to my free training! You’ll learn uncommon nutrition wisdom about the underlying causes of unexplained and stubborn weight gain. I will show you how you can simply get your body back without having to obsess about it. Best of all, you’ll learn how to do it without having to give up the rich, sweet, creamy foods you love!
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